'Going Without Saying'

 

 Photo by Anna Karp on Unsplash

 Going without saying
In memoriam Joe Flynn

It is a great pity we don’t know
When the dead are going to die
So that, over a last companionable
Drink, we could tell them
How much we liked them.

Happy the man who, dying, can
Place his hand on his heart and say:
‘At least I didn’t neglect to tell
The thrush how beautifully she sings.’

Bernard O'Donoghue

(poem reproduced with the kind permission of the poet) 

My father taught me to love and appreciate music, although when young I was resentful and irritated at having Radio 3 (or 'The Third Programme' as it was then) accompany our mealtimes. I was more interested in Radio Luxembourg and the Tamla Motown played by D.J. Simon Dee. I was one of his 'Under the Bedclothes Club', my transistor radio secretly pressed to my teenage ear late into the night. Who would have thought that 50 years later I would choose to have Radio 3 accompany my mealtimes once again.

Some years before my father died I wrote him a letter, thanking him for thoughtfully introducing me to so many wonderful composers. I couldn't explain it to his face, but wanted him to know how grateful I was for that precious gift.

Bernard O'Donoghue is right. There are some things that we regret not having said to people when they were alive - things we took for granted and should not have done. Too late when they are gone. It's more important to write that letter, make that phone call, have that conversation when a person is living, than to show up dutifully at their funeral.

It does 'go without saying' that death is one of life's absolutes, so I hope that by the end of my days I will have already expressed my love and gratitude to all those who needed and deserved it. 

Click here to find out more about the thrush and to hear her beautiful song. Click here for an interpretation of the above poem, and here for more of O'Donoghue's poetry. 

Writing Prompts:

• Is there something you wished you'd said to someone before they died? Say it here now in your writing. Set a timer and stop after seven minutes.
• Who would you like to have that 'companionable drink' with and what would you say to them? Explore your answers in your writing.
• Are there things you are glad you have already said? Write about them and why you felt the need to say them. If not, perhaps choose one person in your life and make a list of all the kind, appreciative things you would like to say. (Then think about when you might create an opportunity to say them).
• Write about how you felt when you listened to the thrush singing. What emotions did it arouse?
• Classical or Motown? Country and Western or Rap? Write about the music you enjoy in your life.