The Art of Conversation

 

Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash

"A good conversation can’t be hurried, it needs time in which to meander its way to revelation and insight."

Katrina Kenison

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who you knew was not really listening? You started to say something, and before you were half way through your sentence, they rushed in and interrupted with the next thing they wanted to say. They hadn't listened, nor did they want to. Their mind was racing to the next comment they wanted to make.

If this happened, you probably felt irritated, but you might also have felt unimportant, worthless and even belittled. Then perhaps you shut up and said nothing else because you couldn't see the point, as your contributions were not being acknowledged. I think we can all be guilty, however, of having our mind on something else when someone it talking to us.

A good conversation takes two people who are both listening, and this involves paying attention to what the other person is saying. Instead of presuming what they are trying to tell you, keeping on open mind and being curious can lead to really deep communication. Click here to learn more about mindful listening.

Click here for some TED talks on the art of conversation.

I can recall several memorable 'conversations' I've had with people over the years.  Some have been difficult and very one-sided, often with the other person being angry or upset. These interactions are short and hurried. Some, however, have been long, slow, deep, loving and powerful. 

Writing prompts: 

• Try to recall the last time you had a good conversation with someone, when you felt they were really listening to you. Write about it and why you remember it.
• Write about how you usually feel when you engage in conversation with others - distracted and anxious, or calm and engaged? How could you make your conversations better?
• Think of someone (real or imaginary, alive or dead) that you would really like to have a conversation with. Write it down. What you you both say? Set a timer for seven minutes and write without stopping.