Loneliness

 Stay Home Safe for World. Illustration of a person, socially distant for wellbeing for human kind.Image created by Dzana Serdarevic. Submitted for United Nations Global Call Out To Creatives - help stop the spread of COVID-19.

Solitude

BY ELLA WHEELER WILCOX

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;

Weep, and you weep alone;

For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,

But has trouble enough of its own.

Sing, and the hills will answer;

Sigh, it is lost on the air;

The echoes bound to a joyful sound,

But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;

Grieve, and they turn and go;

They want full measure of all your pleasure,

But they do not need your woe.

Be glad, and your friends are many;

Be sad, and you lose them all,—

There are none to decline your nectared wine,

But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;

Fast, and the world goes by.

Succeed and give, and it helps you live,

But no man can help you die.

There is room in the halls of pleasure

For a large and lordly train,

But one by one we must all file on

Through the narrow aisles of pain.

We are told that loneliness, particularly among the elderly, is an increasing problem and one that is surely exacerbated by 'lock-down'. Loneliness might be described as "the feeling we get when our need for rewarding social contact and relationships is not met". It's no wonder then that 'stay and home', 'social distancing' and 'self-isolation' have made the problem worse. 

There have been some heart-breaking stories this year about people struggling on their own, especially during 'lock down'. Research reveals that loneliness effects the elderly particularly, and perhaps women more than men. (Click here to read more.) I know of quite a few women who have recently been bereaved, or who have been unable to visit partners suffering from dementia in care homes. Indeed anyone living in a care home who is currently unable to be visited by family and friends must feel desperately lonely. 

Ongoing loneliness can certainly have a profound impact on our mental health, maybe leading to anxiety or depression. I think the sad and pessimistic poem above must have been written by a depressed and lonely woman. Indeed the title 'Solitude' is a misnomer. Solitude can be a welcome relief from time to time, so perhaps the poem should have been called 'Loneliness'? I wonder if you agree with her that "when you weep, you weep alone"?

Here are some to links to websites you might find helpful if you are feeling lonely: NHS; Samaritans; Campaign; Mind

Writing prompt:

• Write about a time when you have felt lonely. Limit your writing to six minutes.
• Is there a difference between 'loneliness' and 'being alone'? Explore your thoughts on paper.
• Is it your experience (like the poet) that the world is only interested when you're upbeat and jolly, not when you're sad or depressed? Write for six minutes.
• What advice would you give to someone experiencing loneliness?